Families

Some parenting styles focus on rule following, loving children from a place of control when rules aren’t obeyed. The probable result? Resistance. The autonomy parenting style brings children to a place of being fed. Providing unconditional love as children are included in dialogues while parents demonstrate empathy and employ active listening skills, will teach children to make informed, uncoerced life decisions. Children will ask questions, think critically, and make wiser decisions. Jesus loves from a place of autonomy, not control. His result? Our wisdom to believe and follow in the One God sent, Jesus!

Parents juggle perceptual and abstract beliefs. “Don’t touch, it’s hot” are a parent’s words that a child actually sees and can believe—a perceptual belief.  As children mature, parents warn about abstract beliefs not yet experienced, but true for their wellbeing. “Addictions will make life harder” is an abstract belief about life to a 13-year-old! Your children move from perceptual facts about God to an abstract belief of Jesus by your showing them that Jesus is the answer to life. Your juggling focus truly matters!

When life feels out of control, are you consistent in what you say, or do you give mixed messages? “It’s ok to make mistakes” is a great focus to teach your kids. “What? You spilled the milk again?” is its mixed message. “I love you no matter what” has a mixed counterpart known as “Go away because I’m so frustrated with you.” Being stressed and overwhelmed in life, mixed messages surface. Nehemiah and others in Scripture teach us how to live with clear, unmixed messages. Knowing life comes with spiritual battles, they claimed victory by proactively bringing it all to God.

Parenting isn’t a sprint, but a marathon.

Like marathon runners, parents must do what it takes to maximize endurance. What’s the key to parenting endurance? Humbling yourself before God. When we exercise this muscle, we parent with wisdom; not reaction. God desires to give every parent the wisdom needed to have an understanding mind to distinguish between right and wrong parenting decisions with the courage to follow through. Making the persistent decision to ask God for wisdom in your parenting marathon will end with victory!

How should we face parenting battles? Philistine and Israelite armies avoided the high cost of battle by pitting its strongest warriors against each other. In parenting battles, do you fight by powering up? King David shows us the best, most effective way to fight any battle. First, pause and ask God if this is a battle to fight or not. If it is, choose words and actions aligned with God’s heart, mercy and forgiveness, ending the battle by giving God the glory instead of taking glory ourselves. Great parenting plan!

Sometimes it takes everything a parent has to keep above water. Having “just enough” to make parenting decisions can quickly turn into “gasping for air” as life’s obstacles become a flood pulling you down. Parents, what are you holding onto so you won’t drown? Sending men ahead, God’s people crossed through floods. These men held onto the Ark representing God’s presence AND they stood firm. Raising a world-changing, truth-telling, God-honoring child today takes more than staying above water.  Hold onto God. Stand firm. He will do what He says He will do.

Let God work. Jethro advised Moses to release some control and to let God work. When he did, God provided a new way for things to be done. In the Exodus, the Israelites frequently learned to release their fears, which increased their need to depend on God. Releasing our kids daily to God is a very hard parenting approach to practice! Our fears increase. We want to control, believing we know best. Instead, we can remember to put God in this dominant role in our kids’ lives, and the job of our parenting is to point back to Him.

Abraham and Lot were family. Like many families, a quarrel arose between them. From the quarrel came two distinct outcomes. After both looked ahead to their future, Lot chose for himself while Abraham chose after hearing from God. They were from the same family, but had different levels of faithfulness. We parents can model our faith in God by showing our kids how we ask God first before moving ahead with a decision. We want our kids to have faith in God, because then the best outcome surfaces—the ability for our kids to live out God’s greatness with
confidence!